Skills: Filling in insurance claims, noisemaking, subterfuge, languages (Svengali)
Influences include: the man who hit the gong on those old films.
Previous jobs include: sampling paint - left him with a permanently coloured tongue.
Claim to fame: once met a man who had seen a film with someone famous in it.
Hobbies include: Altering things, Pretending to alter things, Denying all charges